Wednesday, December 21, 2011

It's been a while...

Wow... I haven't updated since the end of my first trimester and here we are at 36 weeks. Almost TERM! Here are a few big things that have happened since I last wrote:
  1. We found out that we are having a BOY!! And we are naming him Ayden Matthew.
  2. We have decided to have a home birth.
  3. We've had our baby showers, his room is ready, his cloth diapers and clothes are washed and everything is set up, and ready for him.
What an amazing experience pregnancy has been for me. As we near the finish line (or starting line... depending on how you view it) I am filled with mixed emotions. Overall, I have LOVED being pregnant. I have been so fortunate to feel fabulous from the start and I don't think I ever want it to end. This, to me, is good and bad. Good because I can always look back on it so fondly; but bad because I always thought that the discomfort that pregnant women face toward the end of their pregnancy was there to give them extra motivation to face birth head on. As of right now I do not fear birth, but I don't want the "loss" of my pregnancy to hold me back during the process. This being said, at this point I am willing to accept any discomfort with open arms!!

I thought that I would want to document my pregnancy weekly, or maybe even daily, but when it came to it... there really wasn't much to share. I felt like myself most of the time and when I would try to think about what I could write or make a video about I would just have the same old stuff to say. I hope that I don't regret not doing more.

There are so many complex thoughts and emotions involved this late in a pregnancy. At least for me and my husband. We have both become more emotional overall. I guess the reality of becoming parents is hitting us and a wonderful and powerful way. We'll watch a movie and be crying saps by the end and this week he brought me flowers after a busy day and it made me cry (if you knew me when I wasn't pregnant, you'd know that sappy crying is a little out of character). Aren't they beautiful??

I just love him so much and am so happy to have him as a partner for this next chapter in our lives. Now that the end (or beginning) is near, my biggest concern about becoming a mother doesn't actually have anything at all to do with the baby. It's whether or not David and I will be able to maintain the strong relationship we have spent the past 11 years (12 in March!) building. I want our top priority to be to keep the perspective that we are a team and in this together. There isn't a single other person in the world who will understand, relate or support what we are going through with this little guy, good or bad, better than each other. As I've been reading countless pregnancy and child-rearing related books there has been a quote that has stuck in my mind (though I can't remember which book it actually came from):

"The most important thing for the baby is the health of his parents' relationship."

I would love to hold this as our mantra. Though it may be difficult at times, striving to keep each other as number 1 will be the best thing we can do for our son. It is as simple as that.

Here are a couple of comparison pictures of my belly thus far in the pregnancy. Total weight gained to date: 24lbs and NO stretch marks (yet... YAY!).