Not Always Easy

We had a rough morning this morning.  I try to focus on the positive aspects of our days when I write posts for this blog because 1) It really helps me keep a positive outlook on my life in general and 2) I know I'll want to remember all of the good stuff when looking back on this time in my life.  That being said, things are not always easy.  We have a whole new member of the family to incorporate and a whole new normal to find.  So far we have lucked out a bit with some ease with this transition but I do not want to paint some perfect picture of having a newborn and seamlessly going on with our lives as we knew it.  This is real life and though I like to focus on the positive, it's not always easy or smooth.

Typically after a day like today I would write a "5 Happy Things" post but today I'm going to document the rough patch.  Last night, both kids woke us up a lot.  For the most part Ayden sleeps all night, even through any sounds that Logan may be make.  Last night Logan was very grunty.  He never cried but was just grunting and grunting.  He'd stop just long enough for me to drift back to sleep and then he'd start up again.  I would try and burp him, change his diaper, pat his bottom, nurse him, take him off the breast, put him skin to skin lying down, skin to skin sitting up... This went on from probably around 2:30 or 3 and continued on until I finally got up and moved to a different room with him.  I changed his diaper which was just a little wet, covered us up with a warm, fuzzy blanket and sat up to nurse him via cradle hold.  He fell right to sleep and slept for another couple of hours.  I have no idea what did the trick but something worked.  I, of course, could not join him for those couple of hours because by the time he was sound asleep, Ayden was up for the day and David had to leave for work.  

I put a smile on my face and a pep in my step and thought I'd fake it until I could make it but it quickly caught up to me.  I starting having familiar feelings of  the "floating head" syndrome I remembered from being exhausted with newborn Ayden.  Then my mood quickly went from positive to, "This is going to be a long day" which was a total self-fulfilling prophecy.  I was a grumpy mom to poor Ayden and I felt tired and stressed all morning.  My kids, naturally, fed off of my energy and in turn were both grumpy and fussy.  I knew what was happening but I couldn't stop it. Finally, I knew something needed to change if we were going to turn the day around so we got outside to enjoy the beautiful Fall morning.  It was just the ticket!

A change of scenery has rescued us on many occasions and today was no exception.  Ayden even said, "Outside will make me better" when I suggested that we go for a walk and it really did.  When we got back inside we all felt better. 

Ayden was able to keep himself entertained
so I could nurse Logan without being a jungle gym.

I even had time to sit and stare at my little one for a bit.
Milk coma in action!

Ayden took a super long nap to make up for the poor quality sleep he got last night.  Logan slept in the wrap during our whole walk, in his rock and play sleeper while we had lunch and then joined me for a nap on the couch during Ayden's nap.  I am hoping that after all of us getting some good mid-day rest we'll be able to enjoy the rest of our day together because that is what life is all about.  

And we did!  There were still a few rough patches before David got home.
He took the evening off building and we went foraging for paw paws!
Another change of scenery saves the day.
Ayden LOVES paw paws, by the way.

It is frustrating when we can't power through and enjoy ourselves no matter what but the reality is that our bodies need sleep.  It's not fair to expect ourselves to function normally, and with limitless patience, when we don't get enough.  Taking care of kids all day everyday is hard work, especially a "tenacious" two year old.  I just needed to remind myself to take a deep breath, give myself some grace, and to keep changing the scenery until we could make it to nap time.  Even though last night and this morning were rough, I still consider today a success because I was able to make the decision to turn it all around.  I am learning how to be a mom of two and as with any new skill, it's going to take some time to master (if that is ever even possible).  Every day is a new day and every hour is a new hour.  There is always time to turn things around!

What is your saving grace when things start spiraling to the negative side? Fresh air and sunshine always work at our house.  (Here's hoping for nice weather all Fall!)

~Sarah

Flashback!  Here's what we were up to one year ago today : "Meetings And Deadlines"
And two years ago today: "Into The Woods"

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