Ayden is starting to get into the defiant toddler stage. All toddlers get to this stage at some point or another and at varying degrees. I feel Iike overall, Ayden is still a relatively "easy" toddler compared to most. He seems to have a couple of areas where he tends to test and push his limits (pouring water out of the bathtub, sitting on the cat, throwing food on the floor and now he's beginning to throw anything and everything). Anything outside of those behaviors, he responds well to any disciplinary measures we use but for those, we go back to the drawing board again and again.
Today, Ayden did not get a decent nap in. He fell asleep right before we got to David's office and wasn't asleep long enough to transfer without waking. Once he got a glimpse of where we were, there was no way he was falling back to sleep. Our visits with Daddy always get Ayden excited and happy so he babbled and sang songs all the way back home. I had to stop by Kroger and again, he began dozing off just as we got into the parking lot. After that, the nap window closed on us. He rallied and barreled through the day despite my efforts to get him to nap once we were home (bare in mind, he typically naps around 2 and we were home by 1:30). Then it just got too late and we didn't want him to nap or else he'd be up all night with us. He started getting irritable at around 6 and then completely lost control of himself by 7. He was throwing anything and everything he could while laughing hysterically, then he was having meltdowns left and right and doing the opposite of everything we said. He was over tired and needed a reset that only sleep could bring him. We gave him a very quick bath, got him ready for bed and he was asleep within 5 minutes, before 8:00.
It is hard for David and I when we have this kind of day because Ayden has spoiled us. As far as toddlers go, on any other day he is such a joy to be around. There are so many more happy and well behaved moments than not and because of that we have a hard time finding the patience we need to help him through days like this. It is hard but we do it. It is our job to rise to the occasion to help and guide Ayden through his life, especially when he is not at his best. It is our job to take a step back from the situation, remember the source of his actions, take a deep breath and get through the rest of the day. It is so important that we don't let him down when he needs our guidance and patience the most.
I often become very quiet when going through the motions of a rough patch of a day. The struggle of a squirmy, fussy diaper change or tooth brushing, the defiance, the meltdowns, etc. I usually sing and encourage and am very peppy but when we are having a rough day like today, and I am feeling frustrated, being quiet is my way of coping and keeping my cool. I just work to remove myself emotionally, focus on the task at hand and get it done as quickly and efficiently as possible. That way we get him to where he really needs to be which tonight was tucked away in bed for the night.
It has been a long time since he has been as over tired as he got today. It will be interesting to see how it effects his sleep. As adults, we seem to sleep better when we are exhausted but for most kids, being over tired has the opposite effect. Sleep begets sleep... I am just glad we made it through the day and guess what? Tomorrow is a new day!! Now David and I are going to snuggle into our TV room, turn on a Netflix movie and enjoy some much needed toddler free, quiet, grown up time!!
What is your coping mechanism during one of "these" days? What do you do to keep your cool?
~Sarah
Flashback! Here's what we were up to one year ago today: "Errand Day"
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I too choose to get quiet when my children are having a rough day/moment. I wasn't always this way, I grew up with a yelling parent and still just hate getting shouted at (who doesn't?)
ReplyDeleteA few years ago I heard someone say, "In moments of parenting stress don't get louder, get closer." Common sense to some but not me lol Now my children know the more quiet my voice is the more serious I am being. My oldest son says, "With Mum silence is deadly: lol
Such great advice! Silence is deadly, LOL!
DeleteI'm having a huge issue with my son getting overtired. He just turned 3 and he's been trying to cut out naps all together. By 6 pm him and I both are in total meltdown mode. It's exhausting!
ReplyDeleteI can imagine! I have a feeling that Ayden will drop naps earlier than most of his peers too. You'll make it through! This season of your life is short.
DeleteTo be honest, my 16 month old son is more like the Ayden you just described, then the "normal" Ayden. It's always been his personality and we accept him for it and obviously love him so much. I can't imagine having an "easier" toddler ☺ Of course there are times where it is harder than others and like Andrea said, above, I get closer. I know you're already very hands-on but I sit on the floor with him and pretty much don't do anything else but interact with him. He is very active and often defiant but it is getting better! He's taking direction more often and learning more signs so he can communicate better. I think all you can do it be there for him when he needs you and accept it, and redirect if possible. It will be better soon I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right. Such great advice, thank you for sharing!! I always say I paid my dues when Ayden was a newborn, haha. Even though he has us a bit spoiled, he is still a toddler and has his toddler moments, that's for sure! I think one of the most valuable lessons that Ayden has taught me is acceptance. I'm sure he will continue to do so his whole life. That's what we are here for, to accept them for who they are and be there for them all along the way. Sounds like you are being the exact mom that your son needs. Keep up the great work!
DeleteIt seems like every day is one of these days for us. Our oldest son is 2.5 and he has the biggest meltdowns over everything. I really do not know what to do about it. It always gets the best of me and I end up becoming a yelling frustrated mess. Then we have an almost 1 year old (I am also pregnant and super exhausted and nauseous) and he cries all. the. time. He really is just not a happy kid. I don't know what to do about that either. All he ever wants to do is nurse. I can't even hold and rock him to calm him down because he will just fail and scream. It is extremely difficult and I still have not found a way to cope. Any suggestions?
ReplyDelete