Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Against The Grain

 

I guess you could call our little family "contemporary crunchy." We actually have been called that before and when we heard it, we kinda liked it. From the outside, we look like your standard American family.  We've got the house, the cars, the dog and our sweet little boy; but on the inside we are far from "standard." We question the norm, do lots of research and usually go against the grain. On one hand, this is very liberating, but on the other, it can be somewhat difficult.

We have to remind ourselves when friends and family don't offer immediate support for our decisions, that what we are doing is new and different from what they are used to.  Maybe they themselves do/did it the traditional way and hearing us talk about doing it differently is making them feel defensive.  Maybe they are concerned about what others will think of us or that Ayden will someday be the "weird" kid because his family chooses to live life differently than most of his friends will be living theirs.  Or maybe their looks of bewilderment/confusion when they hear how we do, or plan to do things, are just the result of genuine surprise or curiosity.  Who knows.  The point is that we just have to do what we feel is right for our family, support or not.

 So then, the question is, do we make these decisions quietly and only explain when we are asked?  Or do we openly share our differing, research-based opinions in an effort to open the eyes of those around us to new and different ways.  Not necessarily better ways, just different.  I think the answer here just depends on our mood and whether or not we are up to "justifying" our decisions (though we really should never have to).  I do know one thing, our friends, family and others around us will see through our example that there are different ways to accomplish things that are just as, if not more, productive, effective, healthy, etc.  Here are a few of our "contemporary crunchy" ways:

  • No cable, or really any TV for that matter, in our house -  We will actively try to keep Ayden from watching the "magical box of lights" until he is at least 2 years old, if not 3.  Instead, we'll read lots and lots of books and get out and get moving!!
  • If it's yellow, let it mellow - In our household, we put forth much effort to conserve energy and natural resources.  We recycle, wear clothes more than once, only run wash cycles when the machines are full, etc.  And most recently, David convinced me that we should adopt the "if it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, flush it down" mentality.  I was a little hesitant about this one... My only stipulation?  He MUST  remember to flush all toilets when we are expecting company.  He is very eager to see this month's water bill to see if our efforts have been worth it.
  • "Let thy food be thy medicine" - We eat clean, whole, organic and healthy.  Also, as you may have noticed in my posts about mastitis, we give natural remedies for illness a try before resulting to Western medicine.   Food is a very social part of our lives and there are a lot of pressures from both friends and family to indulge regularly. We support each other and stand strong remembering that artificial ingredients, GMO's, hormones and pesticides are toxic for our bodies.  Without healthy bodies, there's not much else you can do with your life. 
  • The people of Wal-mart - We try not to support industries or businesses that are detrimental to our society.  We also try to think twice before making purchases big and small.  Where was it made?  From what materials?  Could we get it used?  Waste not, want not.
  • Happy Homestead - We hope to eventually build an eco-friendly, low maintenance home and live off the land around as much as possible.  This is in our 10 year (if not 5 year) plan.
  •  Home Birth - We attempted a home birth with Ayden that you can read about here.  After giving it the old school try for 33 hours, it did not work out for his birth but we do plan on trying again for our next baby. 
  • Circumcision - Though David is circumcised, after doing a lot of research we chose to leave Ayden in tact.  There were a lot of reasons but the bottom line?  It is his body, and therefore should be his choice.  This surprised our families but we stood our ground and did it (or didn't do it) anyway.
  • Cloth diapering - My parents cloth diapered us but the ways of cloth diapering have changed...  No bleaching in this house!  We are the only cloth diapering family that we know personally.  I am hoping that some of my friends jump on the wagon with us when it is their time because it is totally awesome!  When I was pregnant and told friends and family of our plans, some were interested and supportive but others (those who were mothers already) just said, "wow, good luck with that." Now we are happy to be showing them how easy (and CUTE) it really is!
  • Baby wearing - I am still amazed at the looks and comments that I get when I wear Ayden in public.  It's just not the norm around here.  Most of the comments are good, but I've had a couple of, "What are you doing?  Getting ready to work the fields?" comments. According to research, there are actually a lot of psychological benefits that a baby can gain through baby wearing, not to mention that you can hold your baby and still have free hands to get things done.  More than a win win situation!  
  • Baby-led weaning - We plan on skipping puree's all together.  Again, this totally surprised our friends and families and is way against the grain in our area.  I personally can't wait to let Ayden get his hands on food.  There's no better way for a child to learn than by getting their hands in there and doing it themselves!
  • Staggered vaccines - we actually entertained the idea of not having him vaccinated at all.  In the end, we decided that they are important but he is getting one shot every other month. I also take supplements and give him an infant pro-biotic via expressed breast milk in a bottle the week before and the week after his shots to help his little body process and detox.  Again, against the norm.
There may be more but you get the picture.  The intent of this post was not to say that we feel we are "right" and that everyone else is "wrong."  I just hope that it may inspire someone out there to question the way things are typically done, do research and make different decisions than those around you if you feel like it would be better for your family.  Stand strong in the absence of support and lead by example.  We only have one life so it is so important to live it the way you think is best.  Not the way that society or people in your life would expect you to!

~Sarah

15 comments:

  1. Do you use toxic free products on Ayden? Regarding his bath, body and sunscreen!

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    1. Yes. We use the Good Guide App to find products with nice health and environmental ratings. The Environmental Working Group is also a good resource for finding healthier products.

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  2. Whatever makes you and your family happy!! I'm working on adapting a "greener" lifestyle and I love looking at your vlogs on youtube and your blog posts - its where I find alot of my inspiration!

    -Heather
    keepthefaithandlove.blogspot.com

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    1. So glad we can help. It really makes every second of it worth it when we hear things like this. Thank you for your kind words and good luck on your journey to greener living :)

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  3. I love this post, Sarah! I catch a lot of flack from my family and have so many doubters because we choose to do some things (not all things) differently than normal and because we are not always totally "conventional". I sometimes have a hard time not giving into the pressure, but like you I understand that most people react the way they do maybe as a bit of a defense. It's almost as if they take offense to our deciding to do some things differently. They might assume we think the way they do things is wrong. In all reality we're not knocking anyone--just doing things the way we think is best and we support anyone else for doing what they feel is right. Thanks again for this post!

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    1. Thank you for your support as always, Maria!

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  4. If you lived in the Boulder Colorado area your family would fit right in! Living unconventional here IS the norm! Love your blog BTW. Keep on doing what feels right and you'll never go wrong.

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    1. We would LOVE to live in Boulder! We've never been but plan to vacation there soon. We hear it is amazing! Thank you for your support :)

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  5. Great post Sarah! And thank you for reminding me that "our opinion" is the only one that matters when it comes to how we raise our boy. I had felt the flack from family on certain matters and some times it can really get to me.

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    1. You are welcome and thank you for the support!

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  6. Great post! We too try to live a somewhat crunchy lifestyle..we live in Nebraska so alot of the "crunchy lifestyle" isnt seen here. I babywear (and yes I get stopped tons at the store asking what I was wearing and where to get it), we CD (which I just asked the OB Floor tonight if they have ever had a CD baby and they said nope! I sd well if I get pg again I will be your first! I work at the hospital) we have our first garden this year and would LOVE to live on a farm/acreage...our own personal goal as well. We are trying to simplify our life as we go along, but we also have 6 kids to try to turn as well. That wont be as easy. Good for you and your family! Keep up the great work!

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    1. Sounds like we have a lot in common. I've never been to Nebraska... 6 kids, wow! Never a dull moment I bet! :) Thank you for your support!

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  7. We get some comments and looks for our decisions from family and friends. Because we didn't give birth in a hospital, we are cloth diapering, baby wearing, even breastfeeding and that I'm a stay at home mom and for being so "difficult" when it comes to choosing products and toys for my baby. Even my mom thinks I'm exaggerating when I'm searing the Internet for days to find a green, nontoxic laundry detergent or buy the expensive organic fruits and vegetables. I don't judge people for there decisions, why do they? I'm just doing the best I can to do what I think it's best for my family and the ecosystem I life in.

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    1. Sounds like we have so much in common! So true about the being "difficult" statement. Kudos to you for doing what you feel is best, despite your lack of a support system! It will pay off in the end :).

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  8. How much did the water bill go down? What kind of organic teething medicine do you use?

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