So... Ayden had a great night last night! I never thought I'd be saying that about 3 hour sleep sessions but after waking up every hour from about 2am on for a week, a few solid 3 hour chunks are amazing! If he slept "so well" you may be wondering about the title of this post...
Ayden fell asleep as part of his last EASY cycle for the day around 8:00 as usual. We all were in bed by 10 and I always feed him again at this point, just so he'll sleep as long as possible. He woke at around 1:45 for his first feeding and was back to sleep by 2:00. I put him back in his bed, got up to use the bathroom and get a drink, then snuggled in thinking, "Okay... I'll either be woken up by the grunts at 3 or to feed around 5. PLEASE let it be 5..." Then I proceeded to lie there wide awake for the next hour... UGH!
I could hear the rhythmic, sleepy breathing coming from either side of me but no matter what position i got in or how hard I tried, I could not turn my brain off enough to go back to sleep. I was thinking of things to add to the grocery list, what I should get David for his birthday, the fact that Ayden's 3 month photo shoot is coming up and we need to pick out outfits and pose inspiration ideas (we do his photo shoots ourselves...). Needless to say, though Ayden's sleep has been better the past couple of nights, it doesn't mean Mommy is sleeping any better. Maybe I kind of adjusted to being up all night after all of Ayden's grunty shenanigans over the past week?
I have to admit, I've been a little amazed at my ability to adjust to the demands of motherhood. The pre-mommy me would have been a grumpy mess going in this little sleep for this long (don't get me wrong, I do have my moments) but somehow I usually just have the patience and summon energy from the depths within to get the job done. I don't even think my exterior shows how tired I am most of the time. Sometimes I feel like I'm just going through the motions in a haze and other times I somehow feel great. Most of the time, though, I'm hovering somewhere in between. I am alive and present though the fact that exhaustion has taken what seems to be permanent residence in my body is always lurking at the edge of my thoughts.
All I can do is look at my sweet baby and know that it is MORE than worth it. And then I remind myself that it WILL get better. There is a day at some point in my future, whether it is a month or a year from now, when I'll be reminded what it's like to wake up felling rested. Until then I'll just keep on keeping on! :)
|Farmer's Market! (See Ayden's little ear? He's in there somewhere!)|
|Really starting to get into toys these days! :)|