Every Party's A Birthday Party

We had a busy Friday.  Our Monday playgroup was rescheduled for this morning so we had some fun there then spent the rest of the day running errands.  One of which was purchasing a baby gift for a baby shower we attended tonight.  

Shooting some hoops at Bed Bath and Beyond

In an effort to save some money and prevent impulse buys, I've been doing less brick and mortar shopping and more online shopping.  You don't realize how overwhelming retail establishments can be until you take a break from them for a while. But, I digress...

After we got home and I was putting the items into the gift bag, Ayden started singing happy birthday to himself.  Recalling all of the parties and showers that I have been to where all of the children assume the gifts are for them, I took the opportunity to let him know that we were going to a party and that there would be presents, but the presents would not be for him.  He listened and thought about it for a second and then moved on to something else.  When we got to the shower and he had some time to warm up he got down and explored the place.  He quickly found the table of gifts and started to get one down.  When I got to him he said, "I need help."  I got down on his level and said, "I know you really love to open presents but remember, these are not for you.  They are for Baby B."  He said, "No, those Ayden's presents" and then proceeded to have a floppy noodle meltdown as I pulled him away from the table.  He got over it quickly enough but it is just SO hard for toddlers to understand things like this.  They are so egocentric at this stage.  It is normal and expected.  There is no need to get upset with them because they are just expressing extreme disappointment at the other end of extreme excitement.  

David and I have always said that we would not let our children "help" other people open their gifts and we plan on sticking to that.  Even though he doesn't understand now, he will eventually and it is important for them to learn that other people deserve the spotlight and excitement just as much as they do.  Oh the inner workings of a toddler mind...

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The shower started at 6:30 and we usually start Ayden's bedtime routine at 7.  Other than the gift misunderstanding and a couple of falls that hurt, Ayden won everyone over and was the life of the party.  He was sleepy but the only way you could tell was with how clumsy he was getting (and how easily he cried when he did fall down).  We are so happy that he is our little cutie.

Has your toddler had a floppy noodle meltdown recently?  Share your story!

~Sarah

Flashback!

Here's what we were up to one year ago today: "Recipe For A Meltdown"

And two years ago today: "Happy Leap Day"

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1st Trimester Reflection {Baby #2}

I am 14 weeks pregnant today.  No matter how you slice it, I am officially in my second trimester!  This is absolutely mind blowing to me.  Ayden's pregnancy flew by and I wouldn't think time could pass any quicker than that.  Add mothering a toddler into the mix and I honestly forget that I am pregnant half the time.  Around this time during Ayden's pregnancy, at 13 weeks actually, I wrote a post titled "First Trimester Reflection." I thought it would be fun to do that again this time around.  I'm going to stick with a similar format for comparison purposes:

Fatigue: Just like with Ayden's pregnancy, this has been my main and most consistent symptom.  It started at around 7 weeks and ended yesterday.  It was like a switch flipped.  Holy Moly the exhaustion that I experience during pregnancy is unparalleled, even when compared to sleepless nights.  Growing a placenta and nourishing a little person really takes a toll on a body.  I am SO glad that we got Ayden's sleep down right around the time we found out we were expecting this little one.  The funny part is that I just started getting to enjoy what lots of sleep feels like.  

Morning Sickness: I got lucky again this time around in this department.  From weeks 7-11ish I had to get a little something in my stomach RIGHT when I woke up or I'd feel nauseous.  As long as I did that we were good.   Ayden has a one track mind for nursing right when he wakes up so he wasn't a huge fan of my pitstops in the kitchen but mama's gotta take care of herself before she can take care of anyone else!  A few bites of banana was all I needed and I was good to go until I could eat my actual breakfast. I did toss my cookies one time in the first trimester with Ayden but it was triggered by a sensitive gag reflex while brushing my tongue.  I have not noticed that this time around.

Food Aversions: This has been really interesting to me because this was a pretty big deal during Ayden's entire pregnancy.  Starting at around 7 weeks I could NOT stomach leafy greens and if I saw, smelled or touched rotten greens (even moldy fresh flower stems) I was running to the bathroom.  I have not had this problem at all this time around.  I've eaten salads and taken wilted lettuce to the compost heap without a care in the world.  

Cravings:  Olives, kosher dill pickles (cliche, I know...), salt and vinegar chips (have not indulged this one).  I seemed to be on some sort of quest for tangy things?  My sweet tooth was also missing.  I still enjoy sweets when I eat them but they never called for me from the pantry.  I even went TWO WEEKS without buying our usual dark chocolate bars.  They were just totally off my radar somehow.  If you know me well you know the craziness of that statement.

Worry: There really wasn't any this time around.  At least not pregnancy related.  I've had a few fleeting thoughts like, "Should we have waited another year with all that we have going on?" and "Will Ayden still need me as much as he does now when Baby comes?  Will I be able to be what both babies need?" and things like that.  The good news is that I have been able to reassure myself in all situations.  I have adapted before and will adapt again.  If you wait until the "right time" you'll never do anything.  Also, there are PLENTY of mamas out there who have their kids even closer together than we will (they'll be a little over 2.5 years apart) and they do it.  Why can't I?

Body Changes: Things are a little different this time around.  I started out at the same weight I was when I got pregnant with Ayden.  I had dropped a decent amount below that for a while but with a combination of relaxing our diet a little and Ayden not nursing as much I had gained some back.  I'm pretty sure that my pre-pregnancy weight for both of these pregnancies must be my magical fertile weight which also tells me it is a healthy weight.  I have gained 3.5lbs so far which is about the same place I was at this point in Ayden's pregnancy too (seeing LOTS of similarities here).  The girls are sore, especially when Ayden first latches, and my belly is definitely rounding out. I've even felt a couple of flutters (didn't feel those until around 18 weeks with Ayden.  They say you can feel them up to a month earlier with subsequent pregnancies and I guess "they" are right!)

I am at that awkward stage where my regular clothes are beginning to feel uncomfortable yet I'm not really ready to bust out the maternity wardrobe.  I just feel bloated and frumpy and would prefer to hang out in my PJs all the time.  I'm definitely ready for a full-on baby bump! Even so, I am embracing the beauty of pregnancy and doing my best to enjoy it (even though I feel like I have a gut rather than a baby belly at the moment).  It definitely helps that David is enjoying the changes too!

Headaches: I had the SAME kind of headaches that I had during Ayden's first trimester return and have had 3 I think?  My midwife said they are probably hormonal. They are really intense and sleep does not help (the headaches actually wake me up if I try and sleep while I have them). I didn't take anything for them during Ayden's pregnancy but I have taken Tylenol a couple of times this go around (once was while I had that nasty stomach bug and had a fever) because I had to be functional enough to care for Ayden. I am really uncomfortable with taking any medication while pregnant, even if it is said to be "safe", so I am really hoping that I can avoid taking any more.  It's weird that I had my first case of mommy guilt when the 2nd hasn't even been born yet.  I felt torn, like I had to choose between the two, and from what I've heard I have a lot more of that in my future.

Mood: Not different unless I skipped my naps and was over-tired or had a terrible headache.  Then I was just short fused and grouchy but I don't think that qualifies as being pregnancy related.

Exercise: We joined the gym the DAY before I got my positive pregnancy test...  Excluding the week I was sick and most of the week after that, I've been going 2-3 times a week.  I've been doing a lot of Yoga/Pilates and some jogging.  Now that my energy is back I'm going to step it up a notch.  I'll also need to switch things up as the belly grows (spinning or aquatic classes perhaps?) because the yoga and pilates are not prenatal and do a lot of postures that would not be comfortable with a big baby belly.

The last thing to mention that is obviously different than Ayden's  pregnancy is breastfeeding while pregnant.  My original plan was to nurse Ayden for 1 year.  Once we hit that milestone, and I learned about the benefits of extended breastfeeding, my goal became 2 years.  I'm definitely not producing much milk and Ayden is now down to 1-2 (sometimes 3) short sessions per day but I'm sure it is still taking some of my energy.  We are both still enjoying the relationship, though, and I have no desire to make these last months with just me and my sidekick traumatic in any way so, as usual,  we are going with the flow.  We went to "don't offer, don't refuse" and have now moved on to "don't offer, attempt to distract or redirect when he does request" and I only nurse him if he still really wants to after that.  It seems to be working and our only consistent nursing session at the moment is first thing in the morning. As far as tandem nursing goes, I'm not really interested in doing it but we will see where we are when the time comes.  I will continue to attempt to gently and subtly wean Ayden in the meantime and we shall see where that takes us.

Highlights: The highlights of this pregnancy so far have been:

- Getting to have fun with conceiving.  It took us almost 2 years to become pregnant with Ayden.  This time took us only 2 or 3 months.  Definitely not enough time to stress about a thing.  

- Our 11 week ultrasound pictures.  We had a 6.5 week ultrasound with Ayden (to make sure it wasn't another molar pregnancy) and he was just a little dot on the screen.  It is so fun to see a human-looking baby this time around!  

-And hearing the heart beat for the first time is always amazing.

There you have it!  The longest post ever about my first trimester.  I'm ready for things to slow down now.  I know August (or September) will be here before we know it.

Are you pregnant at the moment?  How far along?

~Sarah

Flashback!

Here's what we were up to one year ago today: "Blueberry Monster"

And two years ago today: "Sick Day"

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Little Man Leads The Way

Lately, busy mornings have become a struggle.  If we need to head out to play group, story time or the gym (all for which we have to leave the house around 9:45 am) Ayden fights the transition out of the house every time and I end up exhausted.  It's not always a bad struggle. Some days he fusses and cries because he "wants to play upstairs" or "wants to wear this shirt" or "those pants" (referring to his PJs).  Other days everything is a game of chase and I am running around the house trying to tackle him to get him dressed, brush his teeth or comb his hair.  The latter is a *bit* more fun but it still does get tiring after it happens often enough.  

So what does a mama do to get a break?  Let Little Man lead the way, of course.  Today, I did not make any morning plans and even let my morning housekeeping routine go.  I just did whatever Ayden wanted to do.

We read a mountain of books.

Painted

He's saying "cheese!"
He painted "big horses and li-lul horses"

We ate a lot of snacks, read even more books, listened to music and danced.  We stayed in our PJs until after nap time and the day was as smooth as could be.

Obviously we can not let Ayden run the show everyday but it is nice to give that to him every now and then.  If you've been following this blog from the very beginning then you are probably not surprised that things run the smoothest in our household when we let Ayden lead the way.  As he is getting older he is learning (sometimes the hard way) that sometimes you don't get to run the show; but I'm sure he appreciates the opportunity every now and then and mama appreciates the break from fighting the fight just as much.

We have had easier times and we've had times that were just as difficult for various reasons. I'm sure this is just another phase and before we know it he will have moved on to something new.  One constant of parenthood is that once you think you have your kids all figured out, they change things up on you.  No matter how old they are!

What's it like getting out of the house with your toddler?  If it's tough, what do you do to give yourself a little break?

~Sarah

Flashback!

Here's what we were up to one year ago today: "Puzzled"

And two years ago today: "Ayden's Favorite Things"

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Privileged

While pregnant with their second, pretty much every woman that I know has shared that they have feelings of guilt and maybe even a little sadness mixed in with the excitement of expanding their family.  That guilt and sadness comes from knowing that their first born will have to share them. 

 I am not quite there yet, since things are still pretty surreal for me even at 14 weeks, but if those feelings come as late summer approaches I will be able to rest assured knowing that they are all normal feelings.  It is when people speak up that others know they are not alone and that is one of the main reasons that I have this blog.  If another mother out there can be inspired to think, ask a question, learn something or relate with/from my experiences then that alone would make the time I spend writing the posts each and every night worth it.

 I am grateful to have so many experienced mothers in my life (my own mother and older sisters especially) who have been open and honest about their feelings and experiences and who have even invited me in to witness the raw process of becoming a mother of one, two and more.  It is thanks to them and my wonderful midwife that I had so much confidence going into breastfeeding.  All of these things used to be community knowledge but it seems that our society has made so many things taboo that a lot of women go into this journey completely in the dark and are left to find their path alone.  The saying, "It takes a village" does not stop at raising children alone.  It also takes a village to let other mothers know that they are not alone when they are feeling certain feelings or second guessing their decisions. I challenge you to stop showing other mothers, and especially mothers-to-be your highlight reels and start showing glimpses of your behind the scenes.  The more we TALK the more we will realize that we are not alone.  

Have you had the privilege of a fellow mother preparing you for something you would never think of as "normal?"  

Is there anything you wish someone had shared with you before you had to experience it?

~Sarah

Flashback!

Here's what we were up to one year ago today: "Cave Lady Proud - A Post About Paleo"

And two years ago today: "Happiest Baby On The Block"

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Big Stuff

Our usual Monday morning play group got rescheduled to Friday after the hosting toddler was sick all night last night. We were ready a little early so we were all dressed up with no place to go when we got the text. I decided to go ahead and get out of the house. We did our chicken chores then stopped by our local grocery for produce. 

Vroom vroom!

And went to the post office to check our PO box and mail Ayden's birthday thank you cards. Then we went to my parents house for a visit. It is always so hard to pull Ayden away from there so we did not get home for his nap until 2:30. 

When we got home he was eating on an apple and on his way in from the car a couple of chickens snatched it right out of his hands. He was overdue for his nap so his fuse was short and his heart was broken!  He had tears streaming down his cheeks and he kept saying, "I wanted that apple!" Over and over. It is so hard as a parent to witness your child experiencing heartbreak, even if it is just over an apple. 

I huged him, validated and labeled his feelings, explained that the chickens LOVE apples and thought he wanted to share, offered him a replacement apple (which he refused) and just held him. He finally asked to nurse which he has not done in the middle of the day for a while. He just could not find peace with what happened without a little help. He nursed, we read book, he fell asleep. It thought surely he would forget all about it but he woke up crying and saying, "I wanted that apple!"  

He eventually did move on but he truly believed those chickens did him wrong, poor little guy!  I did not tell him that perhaps it was his own fault since he usually gives the chickens pieces of whatever he is eating. They had no idea that he was not in his usual sharing mood...  All I can hope is that he was able to take a lesson from this experience. Even if it is only to hold his apple a little higher next time. 

This is what life is all about. Living and learning through experiences each and everyday. For now I have the comfort in knowing that we are here to help him through. We can only hope that someday, when he's all grown up and on his own, we will have helped him develop the ability to make it through learning life's hard lessons on his own and become a better man because of them. 

How do you help your kiddos cope with heartbreak?

~Sarah

Flashback!  

Here's what we were up to one year ago today: "Little Ayden Had A Farm"

And two years ago today: "Magical Music"

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No Telling

There are some days where Ayden fights and fusses about a lot of little things and others where he goes with the flow. Then there are days where he fights and fusses about things that are usually easy and is chill about things that are usually a struggle. It is hard to understand the mind of a toddler. Instead of trying to understand the why, because there's no telling what the source of his frustrations are half the time, we work really hard to just accept that is how he is in that moment. We summon as much patience as we can from within, take a deep breath and guide him through the day. Sometimes on a particularly bad day our knee jerk reaction might be to say, "Ayden, stop that crying and just do it!" But from what I have observed, this sort of response ALWAYS makes the child more upset. Instead we bypass that initial reaction, validate his feelings and ride out the storm (and validation should not be confused with acquiescence here. You can validate without giving in). It takes a little more energy but the payoff is ten fold. 

Toddler fires are very easily stoked and it seems that a little validation and patience (on our part) is all they really need to put those fires out. The toddler season can be intense but it is short. Luckily every frustration brings with it an equally wonderful moment. Today, Ayden seemed to have a short fuse but after nap he held my face in his hands and leaned in forehead to forehead with me. In that moment he refilled my patience tank and we made it through the rest of the day.

 I'm also so glad to have a partner in all this. When David is home with me on days like today we take turns and give each other breaks if we can sense that patience is running low. Thanks to the support of one another, we are able to be the parents we set out to be, even on the hard days, and that feels good. 

~Sarah

Flashback!  

Here's what we were up to one year ago today: "The Secret Life Of Bees"
And two years ago today: "Tummy Time"

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A Driveway!

David and his dad finished the fencing on our new driveway today! 

Ayden and I did some housework and made a farmer's market meat run while they were working hard. It was a beautiful day and we were all happy to be out in the glorious sunshine. We can easily drive to our building site now (before we had to take farm entrances and drive through a field).  It is so exciting!

Big things are coming our way this Spring and Summer. We just need to hold on for the ride!

~Sarah

Flashback!  

Here's what we were up to one year ago today: "What's Up Doc?"

And two years ago today: "Best. Day. Ever!"

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Name Hunting

The past couple of days have been filled with things like this:

A bunch of playing outside, thinking about playing outside and reading books. That's about all we have done.  Our chickens have been liking our company too!  They are not usually all in the same place like in the pictures above.  We have so enjoyed this little warm up we have been having!  Today had a pretty strong chilly wind but the sun was still shining. We have a beautiful weekend on tap before Winter returns (hopefully for the last time!  Darn that ground hog...)

David and I have been doing a lot of baby name brainstorming. Just like with Ayden, we've been set on a boy name for a while and are confident that we love it. Girl names are so much harder for us for some reason. We have a couple of consistent front runners but nothing that sits so well we just know it is the one. It has been fun to think about it together. We've been randomly texting each other ideas throughout the day and coming up with other suggestions at night. If one likes a possibility but the other does not, it's out. We want us both to love the name we choose and there are SO many names out there we are bound to find one eventually. We will reveal the name *if we've made a decision by then* either way after our anatomy scan on April 4th (so long as Baby cooperates and everything is well). 

What are your favorite girl names?

~Sarah

Flashback!  

Here's what we were up to one year ago today: "Snug As A Bug"

And two years ago today: "Early To Bed"

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5 Kitchen Gadgets Worth Having

Even though I grew up in a family of talented cooks, I didn't really have a huge interest in cooking myself until I moved out on my own and finally had my own kitchen. I started watching Food Network and even became a Pampered Chef independent sales consultant. With my benefits I got pretty much every specialized kitchen gadget they had. Garlic press, veggie chopper, crinckle cutter, pizza slicer, you name it, I made room for it in my new kitchen. At first, I used everything. Then I saw an episode of Rachel Ray's 30 Minute Meals where she was saying, there isn't anything a gadget can do that my knife can't (or something along those lines). She went on to say, "Why would I want a sink full of dishes when I can just have my knife and cutting board to wash?"  That inspired me to get better with my knife and I stopped using the gadgets altogether. That is when I discovered that there are a handful of kitchen gadgets that actually do save time, make life easier and are worth the extra cleanup. 

1) Garlic Press - You can have a clove of garlic peeled and minced in seconds without even having to touch it.

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This is the one we have and we like it a lot.

2) Mandeline Slicer - Having a cookout and need fixin's for your burgers? Making zucchini lasagna? Having thin, uniform slices was never easier than when I invested in one of these babies.  Just make sure you use the safety shield!  Don't want any finger tip slices ending up in there...

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This is the one we have.  We purchased it at Bed Bath and Beyond.

3) Egg Slicer - Whenever I try to slice hard boiled eggs with a knife they just get crushed.  You can also use an egg slicer to slice strawberries, mushrooms, etc.  Maybe it is not so specialized after all!

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This is the one we have.  It has lasted for years!
(I do not work for Pampered Chef anymore.  Just like the product.) 

4) Kitchen Shears - Use these to cut herbs and pizza, dice chicken, make canned tomatoes chunks smaller while still in the can, and the obvious, open packaging.  These are such a versatile and useful gadget!

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These are a fave but any shears will do!

6) Nut chopper - When you are chopping a small handful of nuts a knife will be just fine here.  When you need to chop a lot of nuts this gadget is a must have!  We make our own cereal which calls for 2 cups of chopped nuts.  We started saving so much time after we got our nut chopper!

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We have this one in black.  It worked really well for a while but doesn't stay together very well now.

My mom has a couple of vintage nut choppers that are AMAZING!  She said someday she will pass them on to me.

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Like this one...

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and this one.

5) Good blender - If you invest in a really good blender, you will save money in the long run.  Cheaper models tend to burn out, get dull or just don't pulverize anything at all.  You end up buying model after model trying to find a cheap one that actually works.  We wished we had just invested in a good one from the start.  We have a Vitamix and LOVE it.  We make smoothies and soups, use it for mixing batter and even have replaced our food processor with it.  It is that good.  It also has a pretty amazing warrantee which was a must have for such an expensive gadget in our opinion.  The company really stands by their product and after having one for over a year now, we stand by it too.

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This is the real deal!
I have also heard good things about Ninja and Blendtec

* If you are one who makes a lot of pies, apple sauce and such, a bonus gadget is a apple corer/peeler/slicer. Those things are pretty magical and time saving if you ask me!

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They peel potatoes too!

There you have it!  Five kitchen gadgets that I think are worth making room for in your kitchen and worth washing at the end of the day.

Which kitchen gadgets can you not live without?

~Sarah

Flashback!  Here's what we were up to one year ago today: "The Five Love Languages"

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Reassurance

After I wrote yesterday's post about Ayden liking to stay clean, he decided to reassure me today. He did his own finger painting after spilling some milk at breakfast:

And walked in lots of mud on our walk. 

We also snuck in a swim at the Y before coming home for our afternoon routine. 

It's dance teaching day for me so that consisted of lunch, nap and time at the studio.

Now that I am in the second trimester (13 weeks today!), Iam trying out something new. I've tried going a day here and there without napping to see how I do and have ended up pretty tired every time. I am wondering if I need to readjust to not taking naps (kind of like you adjust to exhaustion after having a new baby which takes time). I'm going to try to go the rest of the week without napping to see if my body will adjust.  I did it today and am pretty tired as I type this but made it through our day pretty well. As nice as naps are, I am really missing that quiet mid-day break time that his nap brings when I stay awake. I also miss how productive I can be during that time if I need to be.   When I take a nap when he does, it helps me feel more rested but also makes me feel like I've been constantly "working" by the end of the day since I am not aware of my break while I'm napping. If I am completely exhausted I'll listen to my body and nap but I am going to see if I can work back up to having energy without a nap. Maybe going to bed early during the transition period will be a good idea. We'll see how my little experiment turns out!

Have you ever had to wean yourself off of naps? What was your strategy?

~Sarah

Flashback!  Here's what we were up to one year ago today: "Mothers Are Strong"

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Getting Dirty

What an amazing day we had!

I am so happy for the break from the freezing cold that we have this week.  I know that Winter isn't over, and that we could still get more cold and snow, but that doesn't mean we can't enjoy the warmer forecast while it lasts!!

After nap we got outside and played for a couple of hours.

Everyone enjoyed a nice, long walk!

He leans in and smiles for pictures now.  So funny!

Something new that has developed with Ayden is a strong desire to stay clean.  He likes to wipe his hands and face after messy bites during dinner, he will go get his own tissue to wipe his nose or eyes as needed, he even tries to wipe himself after going potty.  Don't get me wrong, I celebrate and encourage his self help skills and appreciate his help with keeping messes at a minimum in the house.  On the other hand, I don't wish for his quest for cleanliness to keep him from having those oh-so-important hands on experiences through which children learn best.  

His wagon has a wheel that falls off constantly.  He worked hard to put it back on today, but when he saw the mud on his hand he was ready to turn around and go back inside to wash them.  I told him that it was okay to get mud on his hands when he was playing outside.  I encouraged him to wipe some of it off in the grass and said that we'd wash hands when we were done playing.  He seemed okay with that but still went straight to the towel we had brought out with us to dry off toys when we got back from our walk.  

I am hoping that it has just been spending so much time inside this Winter that has made him forget that getting in the dirt can be fun.  I am going to take the wait and see approach for a little while before worrying too much about it and may introduce a few more messy activities (finger painting, gak, etc.) just to help him ease into the messy fun of the warmer months.  As with anything else, we want him to know there is a time and place for anything.  I want to keep encouraging him to take care of himself and clean up his messes when we are inside but I also want him to know sometimes there's nothing better than getting your hands in the dirt.  We weren't going to have a garden this year but maybe we'll plant a few things, just so he can help us and get a little dirt on his hands.  

Do you have a child who went through a super clean phase?  Did it pass on its own? Throughout this parenting journey of mine I have learned that most things are phases and half the time I waste precious moments worrying about something that would go away on its own.  

~Sarah

Flashback!  Here's what we were up to one year ago today: "Hello, Little Cousin"

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