Sunday, November 30, 2014

Unpacked



We made it home safe and sound. Both boys traveled really well.  We stopped twice for Ayden to potty (Logan nursed one of those times) and once for lunch (Logan nursed again while we ate). The 4 hour drive ended up being more like 5.5 but that's life with little ones. 

Overall the trip was good.  We played games, ate delicious foods, saw some beautiful scenery and got to have some quality time with family we don't get to see often.  Ayden had a hard time going so long without consistency and predictability for this current stage that he is in. He was very sensitive and seemed anxious when unexpected things would happen; which made him melt down really easily. A good example of this was when we had to turn a movie off when it was time for dinner. At home, we don't have the TV on all the time. When we do turn it on, we choose something specific to watch and then sit and watch the whole thing. He just could not wrap his head around why we'd turn off a perfectly good movie while he was still enjoying it. His toddler mind had a difficult time going with the flow with things like that whenever they'd come up.  We had to help him through several melt downs a day which is definitely more than he has normally. David and I were able to keep our patience all weekend, we all survived and the best way for us to look at it was that the experience gave him a lot of learning opportunities. 

When we got home, Logan and I got to work on unpacking while David and Ayden ran out to the post office and the kennel to pick up the pets. We had leftovers from the trip for dinner and ended up getting most of the unpacking done already, along with two loads of laundry. 

I am so excited to decorate the house for Christmas throughout this week though I can't really believe it's time already. We enjoyed our trip but we are glad to be home. Our own comfy bed is calling my name.  Back to normalcy tomorrow with a much needed dose of playgroup friends!

~Sarah

Flashback!  Here's what we were up to one year ago today: "Picture Day"
And two years ago today: "The Undocumented Day"

Saturday, November 29, 2014

Beautiful Nature

Today warmed up a lot so we got to spend a lot of time outside.




Hiking scavenger hunt!

DIY "binoculars"

After lunch we made some Pinterest inspired footprint turkey keepsakes for the trip. 



When Ayden woke up from his nap we headed out to find the cutest and tiniest laundry facility there ever was. 

Who says you can't cloth diaper while on vacation?

My sweet little helper!

While the diapers were washing we went exploring!




And the boys played a little soccer...

The rest of our last evening here consisted of building a gingerbread house:



And eating some Thai for dinner.

We are so proud of both of our boys during this trip.  All nap times and bed times were seamless and Logan goes to bed for the night the same time as Ayden now.  We'd put them both to bed and we'd have the evening to enjoy.  They are awesome!

~Sarah

Flashback!  Here's what we were up to one year ago today: "Frozen"
And two years ago today: "Holiday Shopping"



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Friday, November 28, 2014

Focus For My Boys

During this trip it has been so nice to just focus on these two without having to keep up with life.  



I got to snuggle with each of my boys (Daddy included) while the others slept or played, without anything else to do.  We've had some really great quality time!

~Sarah

Flashback!  Here's what we were up to one year ago today: "Thanksgiving Hosts"
And two years ago today: "Little Shopper"

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Thursday, November 27, 2014

Logan's First Thanksgiving

Logan's first Turkey Day was a success!

Cousins time!

Morning walk

Big Bro showing Logan the ropes.

Our little snuggle bear.  
It snowed and we ate LOTS of delicious food.  Now the kids are in bed and we are going to have a grown up game night. Gotta love the holidays!  

~Sarah

Flashback!  Here's what we were up to one year ago today: "Turkey Day Eve"
And two years ago today: "Baby Sign Language"


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Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Turkey Day Travels

Road Trip!


Brought the house as usual...

I moved back and forth between the front and back seats.
Half of my view in the back seat.
The other half.  So sweet.

Hello, Uncle! 

We are looking forward to a long holiday weekend spent with family!

Fellow Americans, what are your Thanksgiving plans? How are the rest of the folks around the world spending your weekend?

~Sarah

Flashback!  Here's what we were up to one year ago today: "Jump Into Fun"
And two years ago today: "Our Tips For Infant Air Travel"


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Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Emotions

My shopping buddies!

I mentioned a few days ago that we have had a break trough with Ayden's ability (and desire) to do as we say.  It all comes down to emotions. We have always labeled and validated Ayden's emotions. We feel like if a person understands what it is they are feeling when experiencing intense emotions, they are better able to control themselves when it happens in the future. Toddlers are in a very intense transition between learning about free will, which brings with it these raw emotions, and the ability to process and vocalize the intense emotions they experience when someone (ie a parent) gets in their way. 

While we had all along been labeling Ayden's feelings, we had kind of been sheltering him from our emotions. If he did something that frustrated us or made us angry, we would try to keep our emotions in check while dealing with the situation. We have read countless articles that say that you are the adult, they are the child, don't get emotionally involved because it will fuel the fire/intrigue them/etc. What we have come to learn is that there is a difference between keeping emotions "in check" and hiding them altogether. I still strongly believe that we as parents should never touch our children out of anger or to "break" them so to speak. But now I also subscribe to the idea that we, as the model adults in our children's lives, should most certainly let them observe us moving through all of the different emotions. Even the "negative" ones because they are just as real than any others. In the process we can label them and model how to handle them. If we lose control in some way and don't handle a situation the way we should have, we can explain that (and even apologize if necessary) once things simmer down. We are humans and what better way to teach than to show.

I found this almost by accident. When Logan was 2 or 3 weeks old we had a few days where Ayden was leaving us feeling helpless and frustrated. We were in a constant battle of the wills.  He was hitting us, doing exactly what we told him not to, etc.  This was all part of his adjustment.  We knew that but it did not make it any easier.  In fact, since we were all adjusting at the same time it made it even more difficult.  We were trying different things, reading articles, trying our best to find the best (non-spanking) solution. Something tailored to Ayden that would help us break through and find Dr. Jeckle again. I even asked my mom if she thought my sweet Ayden would come back or if he'd taken some permanent turn with his personality. 

After a lot of trial and error with things that were *kind* of working, I had a moment where I let him see exactly how he was making me feel. I cried. I sat down and cried right in front of him. IMMEDIATELY his face fell and he came to me and the empathy and sweetness came out. He caressed my face, asked why I was crying and was genuinely wanting to take care of me.  He was concerned and wanted nothing more than for me to feel happy again. When I told him that it was his actions that had made me feel that way something clicked. All I had to do was show him that his actions can have an effect on how someone else, in this case his mommy, feels. He apologized on his own and hugged me.  He kissed my cheek and asked if that made it better.  I hugged him so tight and told him that yes, it did.  Since then I have been a little less guarded with showing him my emotions. If he has made me angry I frown, look him right in the eye and say, "You ____. That makes me feel angry."  I still feel like less is more so I keep it very simple and to the point; but I let him see the look on my face and give it a label. 

Before I knew it, all he had to see was the frown and he'd say, "Are you happy?" Or, "I want you to be happy, Mommy."  Isn't that what we all want from one another?  We are beginning to be on the same page, little man! Fast forward a couple of weeks and we had a long talk, when we were both in good moods (the best time to revisit a situation or elaborate), about how when he listens we are happy and when he doesn't listen it can make us angry/frustrated/etc. He completely understood that conversation and it was a big turning point for his ability to respect our wishes, even if he doesn't want to. He still pushes the limits and he has his moments where he falls back into old patterns.  But now, 9 times out of 10, all we have to say is, "Are you choosing to listen right now?" Which he knows to interpret as, "Are you choosing to have a happy mommy (or daddy) right now?"  

Him realizing that he has the CHOICE to have happy parents or angry parents was huge. Toddlers love to have power and we are just lucky that he has decided to start using his power for good.  

With his new ability to listen has come more freedoms and privileges that he is enjoying very much.  We have been letting him know our expectations ahead of time and letting him know what the consequence will be if he don't hold up his end of the bargin.  Then, most importantly, we consistently follow through with our consequences so that in the future, he'll know we mean business. The fun new freedoms have been pretty good incentive for him to keep up the good work. 

"You may push your own cart if you stay close. If you choose not to, you'll sit in my cart."
"Okay Mommy."
Done.
(Mommy does happy dance)

Obviously our journey with Ayden and his choices in life is just beginning.  We are just celebrating this success at the moment and trying not to worry what hurtle he'll toss at us next.  This boy of ours has always kept us on our toes and we are sure he always will.  For now, we have seen so much progress and our sweet Ayden is making a comback one day at a time. 

Do you show or shield your emotions in front of your children? For Ayden, a little more transparency was just the consequence we were looking for. 

~Sarah

Flashback!  Here's what we were up to one year ago today: "5 Tips To Help Avoid A Battle Of The Wills" - Haha, so funny this was post a year ago today!  ALL of those tips still apply and are implemented in our household.  We still try to prevent as a first course of action.  The emotions come in to play when we have exhausted all other options.  Ayden is strong willed and can be a stinker when he wants to be!

And two years ago today: "Happy Things"


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Monday, November 24, 2014

Year Long Project

We hosted playgroup today!


Ayden does *okay* with sharing all of his toys. It's always a little tough being the host kid. It's like he is conflicted. He is excited to have his friends over, and to show them his toys, but he has a hard time when they play with the toys differently than he usually does.  Such is toddler life...

When everyone left it was time for nap and lunch. Both boys have been consistently napping at the same time which has been so wonderful. During nap time I usually try to do the same 3 things before anything else. Tidy up any kid mess, mid-day kitchen cleanup and fold the day's load of laundry so it's ready to put away when Ayden wakes up (all while half watching Gilmore Girls on Netflix). Any time I have left over is used for a project, reading or whatever me time thing I'm feeling that day. Today I worked on some Piterest inspired wall art. 
Almost done!
The funny thing is, I purchased the supplies for this when AYDEN was 2 months old. I got it started Christmas of 2013. Have had it on my to do list while we moved all of the materials to my parents house and then to this cottage where it sat in the closet in our office where, like I mentioned in yesterday's post, things go to die. Now it is almost Christmas of 2014 and LOGAN is two months old and it's almost finished. How's that for an example for the progress of a mother-of-young-kids' DIY projects?  It is also a great indicator of our level of adjustment 2 months in with Logan vs. 2 months (and beyond) in with Ayden. Everything is so different this time for so many reasons...


Speaking of adjustments. The last time I hosted playgroup Logan was 4 or 5 weeks old I think. I was in the middle of the season/size swap for the kids clothes and had not gotten the hang of the shifts in my housekeeping systems.  I had to stash bins and laundry baskets I to our bedroom the morning of hosting so our company would have room to play and sit. This time the whole house was ready the night before, and I was even able to swing making muffins for everyone (something we all do when it's our turn, if we are able).   I'd say we are officially as adjusted as possible. Having David home in the evenings had been a huge change too. I can actually sit down once the boys are asleep before going to bed myself since he is here to enjoy time with the kids while I knock out some of my evening routine BEFORE the kids are in bed. While neither of us are fans of how the progress has slowed down so much on the house due to colder weather and less daylight, I will say it's definitely been a nice change of pace for me.

When Ayden woke up enough from his nap to be ready to play, he rummaged around in a catch all toy drawer that we keep in the kitchen and found a spray bottle.  Naturally, he wanted me to fill it up.  Usually we limit that to outdoor play but since it was WINDY today, I didn't want to send him out to the porch.  I opened our front door, gave him a couple of paint brushes and a rag and told him he could spray our glass storm door from the inside as much as he wanted.  Before I knew it he was calling me over to admire his "works of art" on the door.  The first time I went over I knelt down told him how wonderful it was, asked him questions about it and then hugged him, gave him a kiss and told him how proud of his work I was.  The next time he called me over I just told him how great it was and asked a couple of questions but didn't kneel down or hug him.   He said, "You're supposed to hug me!"  So for the next half hour or so, he'd spray for a while, call me over, I'd admire and then we'd hug.  It was so sweet and DEFINITELY they kind of attention seeking behavior I'd like to reinforce.  I'll give him hugs all day if that's what he wants/needs.  Hugs are so much better than reprimands and micro managing.  The wet mess was totally worth keeping him engaged and worth all of those sweet hugs!  As much as he can wear me out these days, I'm so glad I still get those glimpses of my sweet, non-toddler Ayden often enough to reassure me that he's still in there.  Luckily we've been seeing more and more of Dr. Jeckyl these days and less and less of Mr.  Hyde. I'll take it! 

~Sarah

Flashback!  Here's what we were up to one year ago today: "Pavlovian Chickens"
And two years ago today: "Some NOLA Fun"


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Sunday, November 23, 2014

Lasagna Anyone?

Today consisted of a lot of house work and prepping for next year's garden!

Play-doh time!

Brother time

First time in the Bumbo time.
(He was a HUGE fan!)
Garden prep time!

We are giving the no-till lasagna (aka layer cake) method a try.  David will still be working on the house so Ayden and I are going to do most of the gardening next year.  We kept it kind of small and wanted to include him from the very start.  He had a lot of fun "helping" by looking for worms the whole time ;).

Logan slept in the car while the three of us worked.

I got to see the progress they made on the wall yesterday.
I think it looks GREAT!
David hung out with the kiddos most of the evening while I did some MUCH needed deep cleaning in the house.  We've been in maintenance mode since Logan's arrival and our floors and bathrooms needed some TLC.  It feels good going to bed with such a clean house!  Next on the list is tackling all of the random baby gear type stuff that has gone into our office to die.  Once we get that taken care of the whole house will be in pretty good shape!

~Sarah

Flashback!  Here's what we were up to one year ago today: "All Dressed Up"
And two years ago today: "Some Mississippi Fun"


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Saturday, November 22, 2014

Feed The Bees

I can hardly stand the cuteness...
We ordered a diffuser for our essential oils and it came today!

All three of my boys have varying degrees of congestion and coughs so I diffused some doTerra Breathe blend.
We could all notice a difference by the end of the day!

In the colder months we move to visiting the farmer's market every two to three weeks and today was a farmer's market day. 

 

We also had a warm up today. The high was in the low 60's. David and team got some work in on our retaining wall. 



And it was warm enough to feed our weak hive. We are a little worried they may not make it through the Winter so we are feeding them for as long as we can. 


Speaking of bees, we are having a wild Saturday night as we watch a honey bee documentary on Netflix. 

More Than Honey

We really know how to party ;)

~Sarah

Flashback!  Here's what we were up to one year ago today: "Auntie Sarah"
And two years ago today: "Happy Thanksgiving!"

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Friday, November 21, 2014

A Real Helper

We have sons!!

Our Ayden has done a lot of growing up here lately. He stopped me twice in my tracks yesterday by doing and saying such big boy things. 

I gave him two choices.  Help me with the dishes or quietly read books.
He ACTUALLY chose one of the choices I provided rather than come up with his own third, very unreasonable choice.  PROGRESS! WIN! SUCCESS! haha

His mannerisms, reasoning skills, empathy, sharing, etc.  Something has clicked.  He still wants to do whatever  I am doing all of the time but his "help" really is HELP. 

After "reading" 5 or 6 books he decided to come help me after all.
Still, one of the two choices I gave him for that time frame.  YAY!

I've got a whole post planned on his recent breakthrough with listening and following directions. He still has his "tenaciously two going on threenager" moments but he is really growing up. He will be three in exactly two months from today, actually.

And then there's this guy...

I love him so much I'm worried I'm going to eat him!
SUCH a delicious baby :)

Life is beautiful. 

~Sarah

Flashback!  Here's what we were up to one year ago today: "5 Happy Things: You Have The Power"
And two years ago today: "10 Months Old"

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Thursday, November 20, 2014

Sleeping Babies

Fall weather was back today!

Guess our Fall theme tub worked! ;)
I needed to make a Good Will run...

I'm in a MAJOR purging mood these days...
Simplify, simplify, simplify!!
Basket ball goal, 2 bags of clothes and 1 bag of toys.

But this boy was sleeping the morning away again!


I've started having to wake him up on the couple of mornings a week when we have to be somewhere. Luckily when I wake him, he greets me with a smile and usually goes back to sleep in the car or in the Moby once we get where we are going.

This whole "baby who actually sleeps" thing has been a COMPLETELY different experience this time around. I never fully realized just how drastically this facet of parenting alters your life. With Ayden I was constantly on edge. I could get him to sleep but he would not stay asleep. There was no predictability. If I got a project started with hopes of him givig me a solid hour, he'd wake up after 15 minutes. If I sat around waiting for him to wake at any moment, he'd sleep for an hour and a half. It is difficult to put into words what this did to my psyche. An introvert with no predictable or guaranteed amount of alone time.  Yikes. At some point along the way I enevetibly accepted this as my reality, which help a LOT, but it was still tough and absolutely exhausting. We finally did some sleep training about a month before Ayden turned two (right after we found out we were expecting Logan) and after that he became a great sleeper and still is to this day. 

Fast forward to the last trimester of Logan's pregnancy. Reality was sinking in and all I could do was picture me alone all day everyday with toddler Ayden and newborn Ayden at the same time. Goodness gracious, how on Earth would I manage?!?  I was so excited to meet Logan but to be honest, my experience with Ayden as a newborn left me with baggage and I worried that I would not be able to handle this mom of two thing... I'm pretty sure that anxiety (along with a few other factors) quite possibly contributed to Logan's late arrival. That's how bad it was.

Then he came. From the moment he was born he had an inner peace about him that reassured me. 

This is my favorite photo of him.  About 45 minutes after he was born.
 Our midwife was doing his newborn exam.  
I could see it in his eyes and in the calmness of his body. He was, and still is, content and comfortable in his own skin. Happy to just... be. This child is the perfect yin to his brother's yang. I knew with certainty that our life had balance again. 

At first we always prefaced comments about how gloriously mellow Logan is with "for now" or "so far" because we knew there was a chance that he could get tummy troubles or that he could just change as he grew. I think now, a little over 10 weeks in, it is safe to say that Logan is just overall a mellow dude. And to take it a couple of steps further, we can add predictable and a good sleeper to his repertoire. I'm talking so good that it is effortless. 

I am not trying to brag here. I know that if I were reading this when Ayden was a baby I would be thinking, "rub it in why don't ya??" The thing is, I want to savor and appreciate this amazing gift we have been given.  To enjoy a baby without having to be stressed at the same time.  To just love him without having mixed emotions.  I am shouting from the rooftops and  CELEBRATING. We paid our dues and I know first hand what it is like to be on the flipside of this equation. 

Logan being a good sleeper has not made me feel any better or worse about my experience with Ayden himself. I would not trade any of that for the world. Ayden being awake a lot meant I got to be with him a lot. We have an amazing bond and I truly believe that him practically forcing us into full on attachment parenting played a huge roll in the bond that developed as a result. What my experience with Logan has done while looking back at those really tough times, is allowed me to forgive myself. It wasn't anything I was or wasn't doing that was creating his sleep struggles. This has been huge. I'm sure that once we got deeply into it my stress didn't help but at least I know for certain that I in no way was the cause. I knew on the surface that some babies are just born good sleepers and some aren't. It really can be as simple as that, barring there are no other external factors at play. Deep down, though, the insecure new mother in me felt like it was my fault or that I was failing Ayden because I could not teach him such a basic and important skill. All I could do was make myself as available as humanly possible for him since I seemed to be the only one he wanted when he couldn't sleep. I did the best I could and I know now that for him, it was enough. 

Now, I celebrate the predictability and ease of Logan in a way that I never would have if I had not first cared for Ayden. If our first child had the temperament of Logan there is no doubt that we would have taken a lot of this joy that we feel for granted or not felt it at all.  I thank our little Logan everyday for taking it easy on me. He really has been the perfect fit. Ayden is just as happy to have him as we are and their bond already runs deep. If I could turn back time I wouldn't have worried as much about having another challenging newborn during my pregnancy but man, what a pleasant surprise it has been!!

I guess the point of this post was to offer some sympathy and encouragement to all of the tired mamas out there. Just know that you are not alone, you are doing your best and that is enough. Chances are you have nothing to do with how well (or not well) your baby is sleeping. Also know that chances are your challenging non-sleeper will become a great sleeper in his/her own time (even if it is with a little help). 

Thank you for sleeping so sweetly, our little Logan.

~Sarah

Flashback!  Here's what we were up to one year ago today: "Dear Me, On The iPhone"
And two years ago today: "Aloha!"



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